“Deserve” | Reflection by Rev. Heidi Thorsen

When I was growing up, my mom made dessert for our family just about every evening. Cooking was one of the ways she showed us love – and baking, even more so. As a kid I loved dessert without apology! I loved savoring something sweet in the company of loved ones at the end of a meal. But the older I got, the more I questioned this family tradition. I fell under the influence of TV shows, magazines, and other popular media that spread toxic ideas about body image and personal success. I began to ask myself: do I deserve this dessert? Have I exercised enough? Are my grades good enough? Am I skinny enough? These questions are just the tip of the iceberg of the body images issues that many people face.

I wonder how my relationship to dessert would have been different if I had focused on health and wholeness, rather than whether I “deserved” to eat it. Granted, a focus on health might lead us back into that treacherous territory of body image perfectionism. However, I think that health is ultimately a combination of physical, spiritual, and emotional health – and I am an avid believer that dessert can be a healthy thing for our souls and even our bodies, from time to time!

When God regards us human beings, God does not assess us in terms of what we do, or do not, deserve. Instead, God desires health and wholeness for each one of us. When we judge ourselves and others based on the criteria of “deserving,” we miss the point. God’s love is not about “deserving;” rather it is about extending health and wholeness to every human being. Let’s strive to love ourselves and others in the way that God loves us. And if eating dessert tonight is the way that you can remind yourself of this spiritual practice (even in Holy Week) – so be it!