I Believe in Self-Forgiveness

I believe in the power of self-forgiveness. Too many of us hold ourselves to standards of perfection that are impossible to always achieve. We agonize over long-ago missteps – whether it be an unkind deed, a selfish act, or a harsh reaction. These stay with us for decades, long after we have forgotten all the considerate deeds, kind words, empathy, and support we have shown others. Those fade away while our failures keep returning.

How do we let it go? Some try to apologize to the individual only to find that they have either forgotten or understood its relative unimportance. They realize we are human and not always perfect. But that doesn’t erase the memory from our minds. 

Unlike the Shakespeare lines: “The evil that men do lives after them; /The good is oft interred with their bones”, the reality for us is the opposite. We keep the faults alive while others forget them.

Each Sunday, we confess our sins, and then we are forgiven. If God can forgive us, why can’t we forgive ourselves?

I struggle with self-forgiveness; I haven’t found any magic words that erase the memory of my failings.. Sometimes I wonder if you can erase them; or will they always be there to remind me to “be better.”

Let me end with some quotes about forgiveness (and self-forgiveness):

• ·       All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on. - Havelock Ellis

• ·       Forgiveness is the final form of love.- Reinhold Niebuhr

• ·       To understand is to forgive, even oneself. - Alexander Chase

• ·       The more you know yourself, the more you forgive yourself. – Confucius